Author: Frank the Tank

I am a cat, therefore I am a jerk.

Cat Life by Frank the TankOct 17, 202611:00 am

Otto, nicknamed Frank the Tank, sitting with his legs splayed on a gray concrete paver against a white background.

Apparently, We Like Rocks

Humans have discovered that some of us enjoy an ordinary concrete paver. Congratulations on finally shopping in our price range. Apparently, this is a thing—and the fancy toy industry would like a word. — Frank […]

Cat Life by Frank the TankOct 8, 202611:00 am

Ginger cat Frank the Tank resting on a green leaf-patterned cushion with a white paw stretched forward.

Boredom on a Budget

The Woman calls it recycling; I call it throwing away my entertainment. An empty egg carton, a cardboard box, a window with a view—my standards are surprisingly affordable. Cats Protection has a few ideas for […]

Cat Life by Frank the TankOct 2, 202611:00 am

Original illustration of a smug ginger cat supervising research at a laptop surrounded by charts and dice.

Monte Catlo: Finally, Science Consults the Cats

Humans have finally found a use for artificial intelligence: asking cats how to run it. An April Fools’ paper on arXiv feeds the weight, markings, eye color and “name entropy” of 21 cats into a […]

Cat Life by Frank the TankSep 23, 202611:00 am

A humorous illustration of an orange kitten paw poking out beneath the rear bumper of a parked teal car.

The CDS Does Interstate Delivery

The Cat Distribution System has apparently expanded into interstate logistics. A 10-week-old kitten climbed into the undercarriage of a college student’s car in New Jersey—and stayed there for the nearly 800-mile drive to Athens, Georgia. […]

Cat Life by Frank the TankMay 17, 20239:30 am

Cats lounging on the artificial turf Frank claimed as his own.

Astroturfing it

The Woman bought some astroturf. I have declared it mine. One of the Orcas tried to sit on it too. I ran her off and told her to get her own fake grass. — Frank […]

Cat Life by Frank the TankMay 11, 202312:11 pm